Shortly after I arrived at Ohio State University as an assistant professor, the department chair and his wife held a party for the three new assistant professors in number theory. The other attendees were the other number theory faculty and their wives. We sat in armchairs in the living room, to eat the buffet meal. Everyone there knew that I was one of the three new assistant professors.
When most of us had finished eating, the wives of the professors approached me as a group to inform me that I needed to join them in going around the room collecting the empty plates of the mathematicians and carrying them into the kitchen.
The two other new faculty were not told to do this. They were male, and I was the only female mathematician at the party. While I wanted to be helpful, I knew that whatever happened next would set a precedent for how I would be treated in my new job.
Before you read further, here's a question for you to think about: What would you have done, if you'd been me?
I didn't know what to do, and thought for a moment. Then I stood up, walked over to the other two new faculty, and said "We've been asked to collect the plates."
When the wives saw the three of us collecting dirty plates, some of them ran over to the two men and told them they mustn't do that, they're guests. The two men sat down.
Again, what would you have done?
I sat down too. But neither I nor the professors' wives were happy that they were left to collect the plates on their own.