The September 15 story about collecting plates reminded me that at seminar dinners, when I sat down next to that same department chair, he would get up and make his wife change places with him, so that I sat next to her instead of him. He didn't do that with anyone else. While I liked her and enjoyed talking with her (despite the incident with the plates), sitting next to her made it harder for me to talk to the mathematicians or participate in the discussions about mathematics.
Such incidents could be viewed as in some sense trivial (though they can have tangible effects on one's opportunities and career). But to borrow the title of a marvelous book by Paula J. Caplan[1], dealing with this type of treatment time and again eventually feels like lifting a ton of feathers.
A number of people have encouraged me to continue posting my adventures, since knowing that others are having similar experiences makes them feel less alone. I found Caplan's book to be very useful, and recommend it to those who might benefit from a survival guide and those who want to learn more.
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[1] Lifting a Ton of Feathers: A Woman's Guide to Surviving in the Academic World, Paula J. Caplan, University of Toronto Press, 1993.