The names below are pseudonyms.
Victoria had a "mid-Atlantic accent". Halfway between London and New York.
At dinner one night at our Cambridge College, Nigel, an Englishman, was very angry about Victoria and her accent. Viscerally angry, and quite offended. How dare she? An American faking an English accent and pretending to be a posh Englishwoman!
"Victoria is a posh Englishwoman," I told him as gently as I could. "She grew up in England, but then went to college in Texas. That's where she got her mid-Atlantic accent. She's not an American faking an English accent."
To his credit, Nigel was embarrassed. Luckily for Victoria, she wasn't there at the time.
How dare she? What is that woman trying to get away with?
I'm always surprised by such visceral anger. At least this time it was based on a misunderstanding. Often it's based on nothing.
Who bears the brunt of these overreactions? I've noticed such visceral anger directed against women and members of minority groups (even by those within those groups), as if to say "the problem with them is that they don't know their place."
I haven't figured out what to do about such anger when it's directed at me.
Sometimes they don't know why they're angry, and calling them on it encourages them to make up reasons to blame you. People feel a need to rationalize their irrational impulses.