Over the years, I've told colleagues and friends about things I have seen or experienced. Many times, people have said that I should write them down so that they won't be lost and forgotten, since some of them might be useful parts of our history. I've been writing them down, without being sure what I would do with them. I decided to gradually post them on this website, and see what reactions I get. I suggest reading from the bottom up (starting with the August 2017 post "The Meritocracy"). Thoughtful and kind feedback would be useful for me, and would help me to revise the exposition to make it as useful as possible. I hope that while you read my stories you will ask yourself "What can I learn from this?" I'm particularly interested in knowing what you see as the point of the story, or what you take away from it. Please send feedback to asilverb@gmail.com. Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully reflect on them!

I often run the stories past the people I mention, even when they are anonymized, to get their feedback and give them a chance to correct the record or ask for changes. When they tell me they're happy to be named, I sometimes do so. When I give letters as pseudonyms, there is no correlation between those letters and the names of the real people.

Sunday, October 31, 2021

The Princeton Math Department's First Wives Club

At one time, it seemed to me that the number of Princeton math faculty who divorced their wives to marry their grad students wasn't so very far from the number of women that Princeton had ever admitted into its math graduate program. This was rather different from Harvard, where some of the math faculty had affairs with some of the secretaries.

John Tate knew I was interested in the history of the Harvard math department, and I appreciated his willingness to talk about it. In 1991, he told me that in his early days on the Harvard faculty, the math department admitted men to the graduate program with the idea that they'd become mathematicians, and admitted women with the idea that they'd become wives of the male grad students.

At Princeton, the faculty wives were understandably nervous about the idea of their husbands supervising female students. This made it hard for female grad students to find a thesis advisor.

My PhD thesis advisor's wife was unfailingly kind to me, and I'm very grateful for how nice she was. I think we always got along. She had nothing to worry about from me.

One evening at a department party she told me about a recent dream. In her dream, she and I were college students, taking a course taught by her husband. The class had an exam, and she was distressed that I did much better on the exam than she did.

I told this to a more senior student, and I wondered what it meant. He replied, "Alice, you know what it means. Her husband's colleagues are having affairs with their grad students. She's letting you know that she has some anxiety about her husband having a female student." I didn't (and don't) know this to be true. But I can certainly understand how the behavior of some of the faculty was problematic for both female students and faculty wives.