Over the years, I've told colleagues and friends about things I have seen or experienced. Many times, people have said that I should write them down so that they won't be lost and forgotten, since some of them might be useful parts of our history. I've been writing them down, without being sure what I would do with them. I decided to gradually post them on this website, and see what reactions I get. I suggest reading from the bottom up (starting with the August 2017 post "The Meritocracy"). Thoughtful and kind feedback would be useful for me, and would help me to revise the exposition to make it as useful as possible. I hope that while you read my stories you will ask yourself "What can I learn from this?" I'm particularly interested in knowing what you see as the point of the story, or what you take away from it. Please send feedback to asilverb@gmail.com. Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully reflect on them!

I often run the stories past the people I mention, even when they are anonymized, to get their feedback and give them a chance to correct the record or ask for changes. When they tell me they're happy to be named, I sometimes do so. When I give letters as pseudonyms, there is no correlation between those letters and the names of the real people.

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Clueless?

 I was surprised by how many friends and colleagues were getting divorced in their fifties. The reasons all seemed the same. Here's a composite from real conversations, that captures the essence of many of them:

My first contact was with him:

Him: "I was taken completely by surprise. I thought our marriage was fine."

Later, I ran into her:

Her: "The marriage had been going downhill for a long time. For years I told him that things needed to change or I would leave. I told him what I couldn't put up with. He wouldn't listen. It was as though I were talking to a wall."

The next time I saw him:

Me: "You said you were completely surprised. But she says she's been telling you for years that there were problems, and that she would leave if things didn't change. Are you saying that's not true?"

Him: "No, it's true. But she never left, so I didn't believe her."

I'm reminded of this when I think about some of the reactions to women who point out things that are illegal or problematic. When the media paid a lot of attention to a story about sexual harassment by a Berkeley professor, someone worriedly told me, "But Alice, a lot of what he did were things many of us have been doing for years."

I wanted to say (and I should have said), "Yes, we've been telling you it's wrong and should stop, but you wouldn't listen."

I'm continually astonished by the willful cluelessness of those who say "If only you had said something sooner, we would have done something about it before it came to this!"

We did say something. Over and over. (Some of my own examples are in the stories I've been posting.) We tried every possible way to tell you.

We tried being polite.
We tried being direct.
We tried being subtle.
We tried being angry.
We tried being professional.
We tried pleading and crying.
We tried being funny.
We tried being witty.

They (you?) told us we were prudish, or uptight, or overreacting, or stupid, or nagging, or lying, or crazy. They (you?) were dismissive or angry.

Some of the "surprise" at this year's protests against racism and police brutality toward Blacks strikes me as a similar kind of cluelessness. They (you?) didn't realize that the U.S. has a long history of racism? They (you?) didn't notice the years of discrimination, segregation, police brutality, protests, riots, media reports, books, and other writings that came before?

Is such cluelessness innocent and harmless, or has it been part of the problem? And what should we do about it?